Tuesday, August 29, 2006

ignorance hurts my head

Conversation held before class yesterday:

girl: where are you from?
me: rwanda?
girl: where?
me: ru-wa-nda
girl: what?
me: raaaaaaa-waaaaaa-ndaaaa
girl: ok, so that's like r-w-...?
me: um, yup.
girl: (whispers to friend) is that a country?
me: (clearly astounded at this point) ehh...YES!
girl: oh! like the hotel?
*laughter from other person*
me: *pause*
girl: *slightly embarassed* as in, the movie?
me: well. yes, the movie was not about a hotel, per se, but about...oh, nevermind.*suddenly exhausted*

okay, now, this conversation is taking place just before a class on punishment and human rights. international human rights. at the master's level. and the person i'm talking to attends what is generally considered a really good university in the US. so what's her excuse? why is it that years and years later, considering where i am both geographically and academically, that i'm still having essentially the same conversation i was having with my highschool classmates in small-town canada?

dear people of the world,

please read a book/newspaper.

lotsa love,



Wednesday, August 16, 2006

i shoulda stayed in bed

today feels like a dream. since i woke up this morning, i've been in a cloud-like haze that's so thick, i feel like i've been pushing myself to do the most menial of tasks. even walking is a struggle today because i feel as though i'm passively swimming against some kind of tide. and because i feel like everything is a dream, i don't trust anything around me. i'm having conversations and wondering whether they're real, so my interaction with people around me is strange and affected. i'm not sure if they can tell...i'm sure i seem normal enough. on top of this feeling, there's also an air of ominousness (is that a word?), that i can't seem to shake. like something's about to go down, and i know not what that could be. i keep looking at the date, wondering if something was supposed to happen today that i've forgotten.

maybe it's nothing. but it's occupying my mind and has disabled me throughout the day. it's like my body and mind went ahead and got high without my permission and now i feel ever-so-slightly out of control.

i shoulda stayed in bed.