over the past few months, as i was making the giant leap from my secure good-on-paper job to self-employment, i kept reading and reading and researching and spouting quotes about following one's dreams and being one's authentic self (tm auntie O) and creating the change we want to see, etc, etc. there were the first few weeks of anxiety attacks, just after resigning, but those passed eventually and i submerged myself in the newness and the opportunity and all of that. i knew it would not be without its ups and downs, but i've generally been very positive and upbeat and 'woo hoo!' about the whole thing.
and then i stopped by the bank and asked for a statement, today.
i am currently still on floor in fetal position as it dawns on me that not having a regular paycheque is going to mean being devastatingly broke [uh...relatively...file this under 'high class problems'] for more than a little while. i knew that in theory, but i now have the proof in these couple of sheets of paper that i'm clutching to my chest.
WHAT HAVE I DONE!? WILL I HAVE TO GO BACK TO RAMEN NOODLES?
alright, i'm done.