anita

i lost my niece in a car accident today. we're all sitting around in a state of disbelief, hoping--as one does under these circumstances--that it's all a big mistake. a year ago, this week, we lost a cousin in a car accident. and now it's happening all over again.

she was only 22. just completed her degree. she was driving to a funeral when it happened. a car full of young men and women on the way to bury a friend. it's a bitter and harsh irony.
i pray for her mother who adored her. i pray for her father. i pray for the sister with whom she was so close. i pray for those of her friends still in critical condition. i pray for those who died instantly. and i pray that she didn't suffer.

i feel so crushed...so heartbroken, i can't even imagine what her parents and sister are going through...what the loved ones of the other victims are going through.

and, most of all, i can't accept that this was "her time to go."

anita

today...

this month marks 13 years since the 1994 Genocide in Rwanda which took place over 100 days.

today, some of us remember.

today, all of us reflect.

today, we pray--for those gone, and for those left behind.

today, words alone do not suffice.

today, we pray that our generation will ensure the realization of "never again."

today, we acknowledge that what was done to some of us has an impact on all of us.

today, we accept responsiblity that we, as an international community, failed a people.

today, we realize that we are not alone.

today, we recognize that we are still not doing enough for others facing the same fate.

today, i pay tribute to the women and children victims of rape and sexual torture who continue the struggle to survive.

today is about the victims.

today is about the survivors.

today is about honoring memory.

today is about honoring faith, courage, and determination to persevere.

today is about hope

for tommorrow.

today...

the struggle continues

yesterday, march 25th, marked the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the trans-atlantic slave trade. and while poignant speeches are being made in the UK by Blair, etc; while apologies are being offered by everyone from descendants of former slave owners to the mayor of London; while debates rage on concerning whether or not apologies are enough, whether or not reparations should be granted (and what form reparations should take); while questions are raised as to whether or not celebrations in the West are to centered on white abolitionists and not enough on slave rebellion...the fact remains that today, in 2007, over 12 million people are in slavery all over the world.200 years ago, in addition to the tireless efforts of abolitionists, and the rebellions mounted by slaves all over the Americas, a petition was submitted to the British parliament that contributed to the signing of the abolition act. today, the very least we can do is sign another, and remain aware of and engaged with the continuing struggle to put an end to all forms of enslavement.

http://www.antislavery.org/2007/actionsign.php

Currently listening : Exodus

By Bob Marley & the Wailers

the struggle continues

return of the chronicles

so after weeks and weeks of not being able to blog (hindered by the seldomly cooperative ethionet), i'm back! i think. who knows how long this spell of good fortune will last, really. sadly, despite this minor victory, it's much too late and i'm much too tired to write anything of substance. yeah, seriously. but i'ma be back soon to tackle such topics as "africa: whither our continent" "the return of leggings: why is it 1989 again?", and "amy winehouse: if she wasn't so drunk all the time, would she be this good?"

watch this space!

Currently listening : Back to Black

By Amy Winehouse

return of the chronicles

just what we need

US to get Africa command centre

President George W Bush has approved a Pentagon plan for a command centre for Africa to oversee US military activities on the continent.
"This new command will strengthen our security co-operation with Africa," President Bush said.
Mr Bush said he had asked Defence Secretary Robert Gates to get the new command, known as Africom, up and running by the end of September 2008.
He said the US would consult African leaders on the command's base.
Mr Gates said the new Africa Command would allow the US to better co-ordinate action and counter potential threats.
The US gets more than 10% of its oil from Africa and is worried about increased economic and diplomatic competition from China, the BBC's defence and security correspondent Rob Watson reports.
There are also a variety of US security and humanitarian concerns ranging from the potential rise of militant Islam to the threat of failed states and the spectre of future genocides, our correspondent says.
The Pentagon has voiced concern about potential threats, including terrorist threats that could emerge in war-torn areas such as Somalia.
US forces carried out at least two air strikes in Somalia last month, targeting suspected al-Qaeda militants.
Africa Command would be the fifth regional operations base for the US.
Unlike other regional US commands, the Africa command will not be about preparing troops for major combat operations, as no African nation poses a direct military threat.
Rather, US officials say, it will focus on military training operations designed to help local governments.

'Outdated arrangement'

Responsibility for Africa operations is currently divided among three regional commands.
It was unclear whether the new command centre would be located in Africa or the United States, as are the US Central Command, the Southern Command, and the Pacific Command.
The US currently has an anti-terror task force based in Djibouti.
Mr Gates revealed the new plans as he addressed the Senate Armed Services Committee on the defence spending President Bush proposed in his 2008 budget, submitted to Congress on Monday.
"This command will enable us to have a more effective and integrated approach than the current arrangement... an outdated arrangement left over from the Cold War," Mr Gates said.
He said the Africa command centre would "oversee security, co-operation, building partnership capability, defence support to non-military missions, and, if directed, military operations".

Story from BBC NEWS:http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/americas/6336063.stm

i'm too disgusted and tired to write anything about this right now. "building partnership capability" sure are some fancy words for outright military occupation! hello, colonialism...welcome back.

Currently listening : The Dusty Foot Philosopher

By K'naan

just what we need

masterpiece of minimalism

I've been sitting in front of this damn non-thesis for five hours now. Five! And not a single good idea has popped into my head. I'm thoroughly uninspired, unmotivated, and frustrated that I can't seem to get anything down on paper. I'm hoping that writing this rather useless blog entry will act as some sort of a mental laxative and the genius will soon begin to flow, unabated. Ok, that was admittedly a rather gross analogy. SEE! My brain is useless today.

And to top it off, I have that song from Fresh Prince on permanent rotation in my head: stuck in the basement, sittin on a tricycle, girl gettin' on my nerves….

*bursts into frustrated sobs*

Currently listening : Tumi and the Volume

By Tumi and the Volume

masterpiece of minimalism

tales of inebriation

sometimes, a blog just falls into one's tequila-soaked proverbial lap.

conversation overheard Saturday night, at the Obz Street Festival (40 bands, 5 stages, and lots and lots of alcohol and other mind-altering substances).

random: excuse me…can I just tell you something?

negrita: um..well…[seeks escape route, only to realize she is quite literally unable to move, on account of the crowd]

random: you remind me so much of my aunt.

negrita: ok. okay, then. well, bye!

random: no! no! listen, she's really cool. she's all African and stuff, like you. and she's really tight (slang for "hot").

negrita: you think your aunt is—

random: NO! yes! yeah, she's totally tight. I mean, if she wasn't my aunt, I would totally—

negrita: OK! BYE NOW! BYE! [squeezes through crowd towards unknown destination (i.e. the frozen margarita stand)]

I blame the cheap frozen margaritas for slowing down my reaction to the extent that the conversation didn't end after the first 30 seconds. that being said, I would like to announce that, despite our bitter break up back in 2001, tequila and I are speaking again. I mean, we're not going to hang out regularly or anything—that would be a bit much. but we had a great time together on Saturday night. I know it's no good for me, and has the ability to reduce me to a sniveling shell of my former self, but when I saw it that night, I felt drawn to it. perhaps because of the general reverie of the evening, perhaps because it was really, really cheap and I'm a broke-ass. whatever the reason, we hooked up for a brief one night stand. and it was goooood. and I had no regrets the following morning! but there can be no repeat performances: I'm not as young as I used to be, after all.

tales of inebriation

inna heights

people talk to me about their problems all the time. I'm a very good listener, and I'm actually quite good at doling out sage advise in the manner of some wizened old woman with years of experience and insight. it's not completely altruistic, mind you. in fact, there's nothing quite like the natural high one gets from being to help someone.

I just wish I was as good at taking my own advice as I am at giving it.

I always marvel at the fact that I approach other people's crises (whether emotionally or otherwise) with such calmness and perspective, and then break into anxiety attacks when it comes to my own shit. I have yet to master the art of meditation…but I know that's what I need. and so, tomorrow, I will sit and breathe, and elevate, and try hard to relax my damn shoulders—something I learned I have become naturally incapable of doing for more than 30 seconds at a time (props to my new Pilates instructor for pointing that out) and I will try to do so without thinking of anything in particular and without making mental lists and wondering whether I remembered to email someone or freaking out about the fact that I still don't have a supervisor for my thesis, and really does anything I'm writing make sense, and what if I screw the whole thing up and PANIC! where was I? oh, yes, the breathing and relaxing: maybe if I do this, I'll be able to hear myself (or whatever other voices I'm drowning out with my anxiety) telling myself that whatever minor or major crisis arises, it's not the end of the world, and I've dealt with much worse, so there is no need to waste energy panicking.

I really don't spend enough time conversating with myself or with the Higher Power I tend to consult primarily when situations seem dire or desperation strikes. so, maybe, I'm not such a good listener after all. something to work on.


Currently listening : Essential Billie Holiday

By Billie Holiday

inna heights

it's come to this

Botha, the face of apartheid, is dead

Mail Foreign Desk Last updated at 12:46pm on 1st November 2006

South Africa's last hardline apartheid ruler died last night at the age of 90. PW Botha led the country for 11 years, first as prime minister and then as president, until he stepped down in 1989.
His death, at the Western Cape home he shared with his second wife Barbara, puts paid to any hope that he might stand trial for human rights abuses committed during his leadership.

Botha had refused to testify before the post-apartheid Truth and Reconciliation Commission which was set up to investigate human rights abuses and force perpetrators to account for their actions. His ill health saved him from prosecution for non-cooperation.
However in a surprising twist, Nelson Mandela paid tribute to the former South African Preident who is remembered for doggedly refusing to release Mandela from prison for battling white rule.
"While to many Mr Botha will remain a symbol of apartheid, we also remember him for the steps he took to pave the way towards the eventual peacefully negotiated settlement in our country," Mandela said today.

Nicknamed 'The Great Crocodile', Mr Both was an abrasive and controversial figure. In his last interview, he dismissed the idea of a 'rainbow nation' in which all races could exist in harmony. He described the ANC-led government's policy of affirmative action to help disadvantaged blacks as a 'bad form of apartheid'.
A farmer's son from the Afrikaaner heartland of the Orange Free State, Botha first became active in politics in 1936 as an organiser for the National Party, aged 19. He won a seat in parliament in 1948.

As defence minister from 1966 to 1978 he managed to get round the international arms embargo and oversaw a massive increase in the defence budget.When he became prime minister in 1978 he embarked on a number of reforms, including bringing an end to the ban on inter-racial relationships. These limited measures were, however, seen merely as an attempt to assuage hostile world opinion and retain the white minority's monopoly on power. For many South Africans Botha will be remembered more for his brutal suppression of political opposition.

Human rights groups estimate that up to 30,000 people were held without trial during the repeated states of emergency he ordered between 1986 and 1989. He was ousted as National Party leader by FW de Klerk in September 1989. De Klerk went on to release ANC leader Nelson Mandela, who became South Africa's next - and first black - ruler.
________________________________________________________
my first reaction: *singing* ding, dong, the witch is dead/the wicked witch is deaaaaad!
second reaction: i really shouldn't rejoice, outwardly or otherwise, in ANYONE's death, should i.
third reaction: whatever. his time had come. and what's this bullshit "about the steps he took to pave the way towards the eventual peacefully negotiated settlement in [South Africa]"?? perhaps mandela is privy to information that i am not. cuz that smells like bullshit to me.
fourth and final reaction: why do these guys (mobutu, milosevic, botha) always die of natural causes before i get my chance to haul them into court for gross human rights violations!!??

Currently listening : Groove Theory

By Groove Theory

it's come to this

ignorance hurts my head

Conversation held before class yesterday:

girl: where are you from?
me: rwanda?
girl: where?
me: ru-wa-nda
girl: what?
me: raaaaaaa-waaaaaa-ndaaaa
girl: ok, so that's like r-w-...?
me: um, yup.
girl: (whispers to friend) is that a country?
me: (clearly astounded at this point) ehh...YES!
girl: oh! like the hotel?
*laughter from other person*
me: *pause*
girl: *slightly embarassed* as in, the movie?
me: well. yes, the movie was not about a hotel, per se, but about...oh, nevermind.*suddenly exhausted*

okay, now, this conversation is taking place just before a class on punishment and human rights. international human rights. at the master's level. and the person i'm talking to attends what is generally considered a really good university in the US. so what's her excuse? why is it that years and years later, considering where i am both geographically and academically, that i'm still having essentially the same conversation i was having with my highschool classmates in small-town canada?

dear people of the world,

please read a book/newspaper.

lotsa love,

negrita.

ignorance hurts my head

i shoulda stayed in bed

today feels like a dream. since i woke up this morning, i've been in a cloud-like haze that's so thick, i feel like i've been pushing myself to do the most menial of tasks. even walking is a struggle today because i feel as though i'm passively swimming against some kind of tide. and because i feel like everything is a dream, i don't trust anything around me. i'm having conversations and wondering whether they're real, so my interaction with people around me is strange and affected. i'm not sure if they can tell...i'm sure i seem normal enough. on top of this feeling, there's also an air of ominousness (is that a word?), that i can't seem to shake. like something's about to go down, and i know not what that could be. i keep looking at the date, wondering if something was supposed to happen today that i've forgotten.

maybe it's nothing. but it's occupying my mind and has disabled me throughout the day. it's like my body and mind went ahead and got high without my permission and now i feel ever-so-slightly out of control.

i shoulda stayed in bed.

i shoulda stayed in bed