Thursday, August 16, 2007

coffee shop musings


ok, this has been one helluva hiatus, even for me. but i must force myself to start writing again. even if it primarily consists of incoherent babbling. which, i warn you dear reader, will happen more often than not.

on that note, i hereby present to you: coffeshop musings--as mused, presumably, a coffee shop:

loneliness is relative. it's so easy to feel lonely when surrounded by people--i suppose it's more about a connection than anything else. if you feel disconnected to your surroundings or to the people by whom you are surrounded--whether or not they are familiar--it's more than easy to feel incredibly isolated.

since i arrived here two weeks ago, i've gotten quite a few warnings that my existence here be lonely. i suppose that comes with living anywhere that is relatively isolated, but it's been emphasized a few times. people keep reiterating how it's especially difficult when one is single and a woman, to be embraced into an already tight society. for a minute there, the situation looked bleak. how am i going to make the most of this incredibly stunning place with no one to share it with--no family, no friends, no familiar.

but then i remembered that everything really is what you make it. and that even though i miss all i know so much right now (especially because no one can reach me by phone!--ok, that still freaks me out a LOT), it's to be expected when one suddenly finds themselves in new surroundings. it is much better than feeling disconnected and isolated when in familiar surroundings, isn't it? and so, after a brief momentary panic session, i'm back to thinking of this whole experience as a challenge. as an opportunity to take advantage of the solitude, force myself out of my comfort zone, and ultimately learn more--about myself, about the world, about how many different ways one can cook fish....

but--for this first little while--i may just come back here every once in awhile to cry about how i ain't got no one to talk to! because these are my random ramblings, and i don't have to be all india.arie-ish and spew insight, maturity, and wisdom every single day, dammit!

Currently listening :

By Amy Winehouse